iPhone Parody

This is precious. I thank my Jen's for sending it. :)

The Asus 1000 HE User Comparison

My take on the Asus 1000HE...

Preview picture:

Left: Dell Inspiron 1520
Middle: Asus 1000HE
Right: Asus 701







My main computer for the past 2 years had been the 15 inch Dell Inspiron 1520. I am a returning student and part-time writer and web designer so I bought it because it's a good, solid machine. Powerful and useful. I can do everything I need on it. However, it’s portability became questionable and the battery life went from what was originally 4 hours to a pitiful 2 hours, 10 minutes of that spent booting up (although it runs really well after the crawl to life). I tried taking it to class a couple of times but decided that I’d sooner lug a stone tablet. My husband took pity on me and bought me a used Asus 701 off of a friend.

The Asus 701 is a nice little computer but it’s just lacking way too much for real productivity. Suddenly I had this tiny little featherweight laptop that I could stick in most of my medium size purses (which was really nice) but still I was disappointed. The screen was small and awkward to view and the keys were cramped to type on. I got used to it and managed to type up notes for a year but it was annoying as hell. The last straw was when Flash refused to work on my browsers and no matter how I tried, Linux just wasn’t cooperating. I asked Linux geeks and they explained what to do to install it. It should have worked but that didn’t (that sucked). Since that greatly limited my browsability and sharply diminished my enjoyment of surfing, that pretty much cinched it. It was time to replace it. And I did NOT want Linux. I needed an OS I can relate to.

That's when I read about the Asus 1000HE. “9 hours and 10 inches!!” I cried. (My husband loves me running around screaming this when people don’t know it’s about a computer.) But yes, it touted a 9 hour battery life and a 10” computer with Windows XP. Sounded mighty fine to me. So I ran out and ordered me one. It is beautiful. It’s only slightly bigger than the 750 but that’s a good thing. It’s still small enough to fit in most medium sized bags and it’s light. And the keyboard is oooooooh soooooo much easier to type on! That tiny little bit of wiggle room made all the difference. The speed is really fantastic, the screen is clear and most things you do on it look fine and fit in the screen. It can still get a tiny little bit annoying with certain websites that don’t quite fit inside the window, but it’s quite livable. The best thing is I can load programs I want and update things without needing a degree in jar or tar or whatever-the-hell-that-other-program is talking about. I'm happy to report it does about 7 hours unplugged. I guess 9 hours is if you turn it on and just stare at it.

Will it ever replace my Dell as my main powerhouse? Nope. When it comes to graphics and website design and any other presentation stuff - heck, even just writing papers - the bigger screen and more comfortable keyboard still wins out if you plan to sit for hours. But if you’re away and have to finish that big paper, proposal, presentation, make adjustments to a site… it’s all very comfortably doable on the Asus 1000HE and it could, in theory, be your main machine. I just don’t prefer it for the big jobs. For school and comfortable note writing, it’s really a great, great machine.

The Nokia E75

A month ago Nokia held a 3 hour online sale. Most of their top of the line phones were on sale at 50% off. I just couldn't help it. I've been eyeing that E75 for so long. I ordered one. I received it on June 25th. On June 29th I called them. "I want to send it back." The sales person then explained how if I kept it for 30 days I could exchange it for something else and besides, there was a 15% restocking fee. Damn it! I sighed heavily and decided I'd keep it for at least the next week or so but if I still hated it I would send it back and maybe give the Nokia E71 a shot.

So what were my initial problems with it? For starters, the much touted slide out keyboard might as well be an Apple virtual keyboard. The keys are so flat that your fingers have little or no tactile feedback, which is the whole point! I was mistyping just as much with this keyboard as I would have with the iPhone. Grrrrrrr.

Then, aside from that I didn't realize it wasn't a Windows based phone. It's Symbian. Not that I love all things Window, but I a) understand them and b) can find loads of free software that is Windows based. When I went looking for my beloved Google Sync to sync my calendar from phone to Google Calendar I was livid!! Because I now have a Symbian platform phone, there is no free calendar sync available. The one trial of GooSync I used wouldn't probably sync both ways. It would transfer Google Calendar events to the phone but not the other way around. When I had my Windows' based Motorola Q9h, I did this all the time and loved knowing that my life was organized. This glitch with the new phone is really upsetting me. I can go online and just check my calendar the old fashioned way, but if it would sync properly I'd be much happier.

Once I was done being annoyed that the two functions I use most on my phone didn't work, I decided to explore the phone further. It has loads of customizability, a plus for sure. The browser is a little clunky feeling sometimes and the screen doesn't always fully load so that you have to scroll left and right. (Another thing my Motorola did well.) However, the resolution is fantastic and it's pretty fast most of the time. The FM radio is a very nice addition and I've used it on train rides. The groups function is great and I already have profiles that exclude certain groups of people when I just don't want to be bothered (my husband probably thinks he's in that group but he isn't). The GPS works pretty well and Google Earth works just fine on the phone, which was a pleasant surprise. However, beware of using this feature too much. It will eat the battery in no time flat. At first the battery life annoyed me as well but I realized that so long as you're not Google Earthing or playing the Sims 3 you should be fine. (I downloaded Sims 3 immediately because my husband was taunting me about it on the iPhone. For the record, it's okay if you're killing a little time but don't expect it to be nearly as good as the power versions available for game systems or your computer.)

Now that I'm used to it, the keyboard isn't all that bad but I'm still mildly annoyed that Nokia was soooo close to my perfect phone and botched in on something as basic as the keyboard design. All in all it's a good phone, lots of bells and whistles. I like that it has WiFi but so do most other phones. Mostly what's good about it is the large scale customizability and it's functionality. It really can function as a mini computer in a pinch. The Office program is compatible with MS Office files and it works well, including very good coping and pasting functionality. You can edit a file on your phone will listening to WQXR. Keyboard notwithstanding, it's one of the better phones out there at this time.

OH.... and the bonus feature is that it has 2 cameras! One takes really good, clear photos at higher resolution and the other takes smaller pics which are more appropriate for sending as MMS to others without crashing their phones. Very thoughtful of the Nokia designers.

On a scale of 1 to 5 I give it a 3.75.

The WIGO Europe Ion Hot Air Brush

After much excitement and enthusiasm about this gizmo, I am now having to report that I've been let down. It's not that it's bad. It is an extremely well built item. A lot of thought went into it's design. It has a cool blast button, an ion button, a very slick barrel release so you don't get your hair caught (which I did a lot with my Conair). It has many good points.

However, from the viewpoint of those of us who really need power tools and heat to tame our locks, it's been a let down. It dries okay but the brush doesn't grip well enough to really pull out the hair enough to straighten. Added to that is the lack of heat. It just doesn't get hot enough. Thick hair needs heat for texturizing and straightening. I thought at 1000W it would do it. The other problem is the way the heat is being released from the barrel. It's diffusing through the slots which are too large and too spread apart. The reason the Conair brush did a good job at applying heat is that it used small holes rather than large slots, which delievered more direct heat to the hair. This was a disappointing discovery since it seems like a good tool. If they developed a new barrel/brush attachment which delivered more direct heat, I would buy it and try it. As it is, I'll use it but I will need back up from my more powerful blow dryer (which I hate using... it's the whole point of having a good hot air brush) or I'll use my flat iron.

On a scale of 1 to 5 for us power users, I give it a 3.

Hot Air Brushes...

For many years I’ve struggled with my thick, curly, frizzy Puerto Rican – Dominican hair. Taming it has been a lifelong process. However, a few stylists I’ve met along the way have always managed to get it straight, healthy and shiny looking. I’ve watched these stylists like a hawk and tried my damndest to learn from them so I can reproduce their work on myself. I’ve met with varying degrees of success. I’ve never managed to get my hair to turn out exactly the way Jesse from Le Hair Cut (the best my hair's ever looked) in Washington Heights does but I've come close on a couple of occasions.

The thing I figured out pretty quickly is that I can't blow dry my hair by myself. My arms get tired, my face gets hot. It's really disastrous. My hair is pretty long, past the shoulders and there's a lot of it. Trust me, I've been to countless "professionals" who basically complained that it would take too long to do my hair and then proceeded to do a less than adequate job. So I had to find a way to manage my own hair because I was sick of paying for crappy results.

When I first discovered that there was such a thing as a hot air brush, I immediately jumped on it. I figured if I could blow dry my hair while not needing to also hold a brush, I might stand half a chance at getting it done. So here's my review of the hot air brushes I've tried and which ones I like and/or would recommend.

First I tried the Revlon Thermalaire Ceramic Hot Air Styler/Dryer. The brush that comes with it is a joke. (Like most of the brush attachments included in hot air brushes.) The bristles fold and don't hold the hair. This is a complaint I can pretty much make across the board for most hot air brushes that cost less than $20. If you have thick hair, don't even bother.

Next I tried my absolute favorite brush.Conair's BC167X. I loved it so much that I even called Conair for a replacement when the first one broke. The second one just broke after several years and I've just ordered an experimental replacement because Conair has discontinued this model. :(

This brush was 1000watts and came with a hard plastic round brush which gripped my hair well enough so that I could really pull it straight. I was able to get a pretty straight blow dry on my own. If I wanted it straighter I would then move on to a flat iron. If you can find one, get it!!

The one I just ordered is a Wigo. I will review it when it gets here.

I bought the Vidal Sassoon VS433C for my mom. She has short curly, not very frizzy hair and it's normal thickness. For her, this was enough. She learned to make her hair look nice using it.

In the mix I'd also tried a Conair CD1600R. I bought this one thinking the larger barrel would be better than my fave. It was awful. It's only 300w so it mostly blew warm air at my hair and it took forever to dry. When it finally did dry it was frizzy. It too is discontinued, I believe.

I will be adding my review of the Wigo when it gets here but I wanted to basically give basic guidelines based on what I've learned in my hot air brush adventures.

Use the less expensive, lower wattage hot air brushes (under 1000w)...

1. If you have thin to normal hair.


2. If your hair isn't particularly frizzy.


3. If you have shorter hair.


4. If you aren't trying to get a straight look.

Use the more expensive, higher wattage hot air brushes (over 1000w)...

1. If you have thicker hair.


2. Frizzy and/or dryer hair.


3. If you have longer hair.


4. If you want to straighten your hair.

Tip: When trying to get optimal shine and straightening, allow the hair to cool on the brush before letting go. Styles are shinier and sleeker this way.

Hope this helps!

A Girl Can Dream, Can't She?

During my last excursion through cell phone land I thought I’d found the phone of my dreams – the Nokia E75. Sadly, after long hours of research, I’m sorry to report that it too has fallen short of my expectations. I’ve Googled, watched videos, asked questions, combed over specifications and came “this” close to buying one Ebay. Put the money in my PayPal account and made a bid. But while waiting for the next bidder (which took a day) I realized that my excitement over this little gadget was already starting to wane. And with good reason. As I did my research I learned things I knew were going to make me really upset that I’d dropped upwards of $300 for it. For starters, I learned that the battery life on a brand new one might only get you through a full day. I hate that. Many a PDA/Smartphone has ended up on my do-not-purchase list because of the battery life. These phones are designed with many bells and whistles. If you use them all the time, the battery needs to stand up to it. The one thing Motorola did really right with its Q9h was to throw in a longer life battery. When it was new, my Motorola Q9h would go 2 days on a charge with the 1800 MHz one. Now I’m down to a full day and that’s not bad.

Then I learned that a good many of these phones do not have a processor speed that can keep up with the demands a true Smartphone user will place upon it. I already get pretty frustrated when I’m trying to check my AOL email on the browser, receive text messages, call my mother and take a picture of a random bird all while my poor Motorola starts to stall. Add to that scenario the other features newly being incorporated into these phones, like the GPS and WiFi. Suppose you wanted directions but were simultaneously attempting to finish a phone call with a client while your husband is texting you a shopping list, you’re gonna need that phone to keep up!! So as I read on and on about this phone’s tragic shutting down and that one’s sluggishness I realized I had better hold off on plopping down real money for them.

Why not just get an iPhone? Five reasons.

1. The first one is that they were stupid enough to release a phone without MMS. What is wrong with them? Even though I hear the next version will fix this, I lost respect for them when I learned about the lack of MMS, a feature widely used by everyone. From snapping a photo at the supermarket to send to your spouse so you don’t pick up the wrong kind of peas to sending grandma cute pics of the new baby it’s become such a basic function that not having it seems… well… stupid.
   
2. The second reason is totally a personal preference. It has that virtual keyboard I find to be clumsy to type on. I still like a real, moving parts, keyboard. It’s a tactile thing.
3. While I will admit many of the applications available on the iPhone are useful and super cool, and it does seem to have good battery life, and it also seems to handle all those apps with little or no struggle, it doesn’t offer a version of Office. I’m told the new iPhone will also address this issue and that users will have the ability to read Office files. But it will still not offer the ability to create or edit such files. Most people don’t care about this. But I like having the option and have, in a pinch, needed to avail myself of my Motorola Q's Office Suite. It's come in handy.
4. No slot for an SD card. While I realize it comes with 16GB, people often want to quickly and easily transfer files. Of course, this is hard to do with no filing system, which my husband confirmed the iPhone doesn’t have in this iteration. I think that’s stupid too, but who am I?
5. This last reason is totally ridiculous but it’s a reason nonetheless. My husband is a MAC aficionado/techie geek (might as well plug his blog, Voice of Rosen, which offers articles more technically diverse than this blog, but I digress). He praises Apple like they were manna from Heaven. That annoys me. Having an iPhone would be like joining his silly religion. I will not do it. I will not do it unless the iPhone beats everyone to the punch and designs my dream phone. (Keep reading.)

The "MyPhone" aka My Dream Phone

Nokia E75--- - - --Nokia N97---------Samsung Omnia-- ---Sony Xperia 1

You see above you all the hot phones of the present. A couple of these haven’t even been released yet, but will be very soon. I got very excited about all of them upon first glance. They all have great cameras, all the now-standard
features - MP3 playback, bluetooth, WiFi, GPS, on and on and on. Some claim to have better battery life. Others claim to have better GPS, etc. But no ONE unit has everything I’d be willing to shell outrageous amounts of money for. I found myself debating whether or not to spend the hundreds on any of them and coming to the conclusion, "nah, it can wait."

So I'm just going to wait it out and see if someone will develop the phone of my dreams. I might even just order a replacement for my Motorola Q (the keys have gone completely hinky) and wait out the new developments. In the meantime...

My dream phone would have...

• Dual keypads. One QWERTY and one Numerical. Sliding, flipping, fold out… anything well designed and sturdy but no virtual keyboard, thank you.
• ALSO, a touchpad. Why? Because. I might want to type out my emails and laundry lists and Word documents using the keyboard but I might want to navigate my Google Map or favorite website using my fingers.
• A battery that can make it through a full day of using all of its most intensive features. At the very least, take a cue from Motorola and offer 2 batteries in the standard package. A standard one and a longer usage one with a cover that will accommodate it. Yes, the bigger battery makes it somewhat heavier and somewhat clunkier but I haven’t minded the half an inch thickness on the Motorola and I suspect most people won’t mind that much. Or better yet, offer two versions. One for the lighter user and one for the heavier user who will put up with a somewhat larger unit so that they can keep their versatility. Charge them more. It’s not that hard, fellas.
• Must have an SD slot of some kind. USB is good when you’re synching, deleting, doing phone clean up, etc. But if you just want to quickly give that Word doc to another person, (say, a fellow classmate) then you just want to hand that over – no nonsense.
• Other amenities of less importance that wouldn’t be bad to include would be a sliding lens cover for the camera lens (some of these phones now have very nice lenses that are unprotected), a speakerphone button that is easy to access during a call and a voice dialing program that actually works.

Listen up Nokia, LG, HTC, Motorola, Sony Ericcson, Samsung and yes, even you Apple! One of you can design this home-away-from-home of a cell phone. And when you do, a good many of us are going to cry with joy.

It's on! (At least I hope it is and if it is I hope one of you will see this and let me BETA TEST YOUR CELL PHONE!)

Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette

Simply put, Ms. Coppola has managed to create a visually stunning bit of drivel. She's got the sets and costumes all right. Some of the shots are glorious to see. The use of color and light are really quite lovely. The locations were amazing (you can't really go wrong with Versailles and the French countryside). Aside from that it's a lot of fluff and nonsense. The work of an immature nature. If she weren't a Coppola there is no way she would have been able to get the money to create this movie. It's a shame.

And I must also add that Kirsten Dunst's voice as Marie Antoniette is grating.